Happy Mother’s Day, everyone! I know it's been well over a month since I've posted a blog.
Sorry about that. Well, I never promised to be consistent, SMH. I had started a draft that was
almost ready to be published, but since it’s Mother’s Day, I’m going in a different direction.
I want to try and explain why my love for Jack is like no other. Of course I love Logan, and
I love my husband. But my love for Jack seems to go beyond the ordinary realm of love.
Today I find myself being over the moon excited about being his mother.
It’s hard to explain, but ever since he was born, I’ve felt a connection with Jack that
feels…holy? Otherworldly, maybe? I’m not the most religious person these days, but it
has always seemed to me that Jack knows something the rest of us don’t. He sometimes
looks up into the corner of a room, and I swear he’s seeing angels or ghosts of relatives
we’ve lost that are looking after him. I wish I could see through his eyes. And when he looks
at me, and we have a beautiful moment of connection, I also feel more connected to God.
The deepness and ferocity of my love for Jack is a little scary at times. If anyone ever harmed
him in any way, I'm afraid of what I might do. But this same feeling also fills me up with a level
of joy that I’ve rarely experienced in my life. And I get to experience moments of that joy almost
every day.
I hope that everyone reading this can relate in some way. Maybe other parents feel this same
connection with all of their children; I don’t know. Maybe, because our special needs kiddos
sometimes seem so distant from us, you may not feel the same closeness that I feel with Jack.
None of us is right or wrong. We are all doing the best we can, because parenting is the toughest
job there is. But on this Mother’s Day, I wish you joy. Whether you have children or not, I truly
hope you find another human that you can connect with at this deeper level. It's the greatest gift
I've ever received, and I am so very thankful.
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